B. Sinclair’s Story

Let me introduce myself, my name is B. Sinclair, and I’m the Founder of BaB.

 I'm a victim & survivor of bullying. I'm a model & advocate of unity and love for one another. I've been always been known for my hardcore exterior, and a soft as hell interior. I'm a positivity pusher by nature. I can't stand to see people sad, mad, depressed, upset, or doubtful. It physically and emotionally hurts me. I want to do good in this world, because why else are we here for than to help out & better others and ourselves? The core of everything in this world is love, I just want to see more of that in people.

Going through years & years of bullying it made me tough, it made me stand up for others, it also made me love. LOVE THROUGH & THROUGH. I love others from my core of my being and try my best to bring out their true passions, push them to be the best they can and keep them driven to succeed. So many break us, bash us and pull us down, that made me want to do the opposite. It made me want to put others back together, brush them off & pull them up with stronger force than those pulling them down.

 Around a brunch table a while back with some of the very girls included in this campaign I brought up an idea, to get into high schools and show that there’s is life after the torment of bullying a beautiful better life.

 And that moment Bombshells Against Bullying was born.

 

 

So with that said, let me begin to tell you a bit about my own experiences… 

 

My bullying began in about 2nd/3rd grade, bullying continued throughout whole life on & off, on until just last year, so into my 30’s.

My childhood bullying which I’m focusing on right now was for a few things…my hair was cut very short (for the Jennie Garth 90210 haircut-umm but I didn’t look like Jennie Garth, let’s just say that!) and I was a gymnast at the time so I had a very athletic muscular build for a little girl so needless to say I was teased & called a boy & it was the beginning of kids calling my legs ‘man legs’. Also in 3rd grade my orthodontist decided to prematurely pull out 7 of my front baby teeth because they hadn’t fallen out on their own (FYI that DOESN’T make adult teeth grow in faster! Uhhh) so from 3rd to about 7th grade all I had was my two front teeth as adult teeth. They would call me rabbit (I was also in 4H for rabbits that only helped that bout of name calling) & I have very large eyes- especially at that age & my ears stuck out so I got called an alien, freak, weird looking, etc. I got it from boys, girls…I even got it from camp counselors that I looked up to. I was also a TOTAL tomboy, my brother was my best friend & idol-with my short hair & body build naturally I was different than the other little girls. I also was pretty poor, I was brought up in hand me downs & goodwill clothes and went to school in a semi well off area with kids mostly raised in ideal family structures while mine was 3 adults (mom aunt grandma) & 3 kids living in a 4 bedroom house to make ends meet. Naturally I stuck out.

At that age, I believed everything I was called. I accepted I was an ugly rabbit alien looking weirdo boy like girl. I didn’t hear any different so that was what I was, I was sad that I wasn’t pretty but it was all I knew. After you hear it so much it becomes reality.

I never did anything, never told anyone, the only time it was even known until now was when my father learned another with my same name was referred as ‘the cute one’ by a teacher to tell the difference between us.

Bullying happened anywhere I was but school yard & cafeteria mostly but I went to summer camps in a wealthy community of Encino CA where my father lived & that’s where it really took place-I really stuck out there!

No one saw, or did anything, as said some was by adult figures that should have known better than make a young girl feel more unattractive than her peers. 

In childhood, I think the most impacting memory was I was in the cafeteria & I was given an apple, at the time I only had my front 2 teeth, a couple kids pointed out loudly how I couldn’t eat it because I was a freak without teeth. That caused others around the table to start in on my other things I was picked in for, all at once all my “downfalls” were targeted at once by a mass group. I just felt ugly, sad & inferior to them.

I wish there was bullying prevention back when I was young, Bullying wasn’t even a word I remember ever knowing. I think that’s why I accepted it as truth.

So much could be done to prevent it, it’s why I’m doing this….education is great but we need hands on! We need to have people who are young & still peers in their eyes letting them know what it does. The impact words & actions have!  Volunteer school counselors & mentors, not just for after things happen, it’s about PREVENTION!

If I had any advice for parents I’d be, be OVER aware of what’s going on, kids hide a lot & they shouldn’t but they do. If you see slight differences if their confidence, INVESTIGATE! 

I don’t think bullies realize the AMOUNT of damage they do, especially in elementary school. At that point, they are just mimicking their own atmosphere, mainly their parental/adult figures. Another part of the f-ed up cycle that needs to be broken.

This childhood bullying affected me deep, for a LONG TIME. Although my teeth grew in, I got braces & had a perfect great straight smile, I didn’t open mouth smile for pictures until long into my mid 20’s. Even though I had it, I still thought my smile was ugly. I also wouldn’t show my legs either because I was taught though insult that they were ugly & manlike. Still to this day people will hear me refer to my legs, legs that now are one of my most known & loved body parts, as man legs.

If you are being bullied, REACH OUT! TELL SOMEONE! Don’t keep it secret, it only hurts you. If you don’t want to tell a parent or teacher talk to another adult peer…a family friend an Aunt ANYONE. And KNOW this too shall pass, they WON’T determine your future. DO NOT LET IT DEFINE YOU! Pen down all your positive strengths even if it’s what you’re targeted for, most unique individuals are the ones picked on, and those are the ones who really blossom in the end! 

My experiences in the end made me want to pursue this path, this passion to end this cycle, to give hope, to show it’s not that you are not what others think of you…but what YOU think of your own self.

With utter gratitude to each & every one of you for your support I THANK YOU!

Love always,

B. 

https://www.facebook.com/LoveBSinclair

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